A book.. but how do I know

We were born into a world without any definition of what it is all about. We could surmise many things but realistically they would just be guesses of what this whole place is about. We could launch off in a long description of what life is suppose to be about and what way would should go. However, in the end it is hard to assume really what it is all about. Over and over like a long loop there would be talk but really no hard definition of this existence. With that in mind you could argue if there is unknowns then why do we seek things that seem pointless. Are we carrying on an existence that we believe is as pointless as our existence.

Material accumulation, wealth, pride, esteem.. On and on.. We could question all these things but in the end be confused and maybe be right back to believing in the very things we argue against. Such a confusing existence because it is one that doesn't allow us to deviate from things that seem wrong. It is like a viscous cycle one in which we discover the faults but the faults keep us trapped into beliving that is what reality is about. Maybe the pointless desire for things that are material are driving us to be totally locked into this reality.

I have thought long and hard about is it possible are mind can escape this reality? Is it possible this constant conditioning of desiring things that make us materially happy (physically) we are becoming locked into a cycle of thinking. Is it possible that are minds are in a repetitive loop. The loop we tell others is reality and if you venture outside the loop you are considered abnormal, psychotic, schizophrenic, nutty, wakco? Is it possible that people tell us we are unhealthy if we think outside the normal are wrong? Is it possible we are clouding others minds with only this reality and if they venture to discover a perception or realm that is outside of this one we brand them insane for not subscribing to this perfect reality.

Sometimes I think maybe insanity involves participating in a reality that is brutal, competitive and shallow at the least. You can see psychologist lining up telling people make sure you keep taking your "happy" reality pills to keep you happy in a reality that offers little if any happiness. It is as almost if it is the Matrix movie where neo is offered the two pills and the one pill to leave the only thing he has known. However, our reality offers peoples pills to stay within what they know and remain in this reality. I believe many doctors feel that their pills help people but in reality possibly some people they are clouding with their idea of perfect perception. No one can be pretentious enough to hold a sign up and say "I have figured out what reality you need to perceive - now take this pill and feel better to my perception." A doctor in so many ways one time told me to never be too truthful because my truths would be looked upon badly. I guess that is the reality we all have grown up to love.. distrust, lies, distortion and confusion.. Maybe we need to learn to sync up with one another and understand what is going on in each of our heads without fear of others laughing..

The Night with Fear

Walking around.. A stone in hand and pondering everything moment of my walk in the blackness of the still night. The only sounds are bugs and the occasional movement of limbs in the dark by some unknown critter. I look up in the night sky and see a vast expanse of shimmiering stars and think of my place on this little world within this tiny existance of my life. I am just a small component I think of such a huge universe but my brain tells me otherwise and wants me to believe there is more to my life.

A bit of fear overcomes me because of the quiet stillness of the night. It is so dark out it makes me think of the possibilities of what death will be like when that time visits me (hopefully many years from now). It makes me realize death in a way symbolizes the slumber of death.. Death is like the night because it is the period that a still will overcome us and fear will rightfully be with us. However, we always know after the night a light will soon come we just have to be patient for it to come over our horizon.

Humanity - What is the point?

I know I am not the only one with these thoughts. The thoughts that I believe make me question every waking moment of my life. I sit in traffic and think what is this all for? I sit anywhere and everywhere wondering what is the point to all of this? Many can stand and claim they have this neat little answer in their pocket but honestly most fail to answer this for me. I hear people talk about happiness but fail to look at everything around them. It is as almost we have disconnected from everything around us just to make our individual self happy. We fail to see how everything is pointless and meaningless.. We keep creating and turning out new things but in the end none of it can bring fulfillment to any of us. Honestly, the many things we do create or discover with our human intellect we end up tacking it on to an already long list of complex things to have to figure out in our life.

It is as almost as if we want to add complexities to our human existence to create an image of a being that is larger than it really is. I thought long and hard about this complex nature of humanity and wondered why we would do this to each other. Why do we create complex environments when the solution around us is probably so much simpler. We deny so many things about our existence to hide behind some complex material solution.

Look at how scientist measure every aspect of the known universe. They keep building theory upon theory and wrapping themselves in a web of confusion. It is as almost they want to create an enigma for humanity.. Again, it points back to the desire for the human to want more from a reality that is far more simpler to understand than he desires. Look at it humanity, it is all around you.. Everywhere in your lives.. You created it: wars, economics, science, on and on.. So many complex ideas that bring about disastrous results. You all believe that we have it all figured out but honestly you went down a path that is bringing doom. No one would have ever imgained a being that was created with such potential could bring doom upon itself. Man wrapped himself in a cloak and isolated himself from the very universe he lives in. He created a vision that he was the center of the universe.

Well.. You are only human.. and you need to wake up to the fact that you have born abilities to do so much more in this universe. You don't need to consume resources and destroy worlds which you are destined to do if you keep on your present course. You do not have to believe in wanting power from material things when the universe has so much more in store for you.

It's almost ridiculous having to write my thoughts out this way.. My thoughts are already out there why should I have to write it for your eyes to see. I ask my brothers that have talked with me to share their insights with me when I am ready.. Myself, I think I am ready but realize I have much learning to do.. I fail at the one most important aspect into opening myself to what I am capable of.. The one component that you told me and I kept trying to hard to attain.. It is hard to attain that level of love when there is so much noise around me that turns it into disdain..

Wow.. I miss having those big thoughts.. Being able to see into things.. At the same time.. back then I was not ready... I think after a bit maybe sometime in the future I will be ready again..

Why hurry? Where are we in a rush to?

Hurry up! Honk the horn.. Yell at the top of your lungs and point a middle finger! Where is the rush to nowadays. I remember reading somewhere about a man driving behind someone in Orlando complaining about how the guy in front of him was driving too slow. The man "Speedy Gonzalez" explained the reason for his rush was that his life was too busy to slow down. "Speedy" kept complaining saying the man in front of him was too slow and people like him are losers. I guess if you think about it maybe the man in front of him was definitely the wiser person. If you think about it the man in front of him knew the end result would be arriving home sooner or later. There is no rush.. Why rush? If you think about it.. If we spend every moment of our life rushing I think before we realize it - the grave will be awaiting us. Since life is finite why rush it.. Slow down a bit and enjoy it while you can. Either way, seems the people doing all the rushing nowadays are the ones who create more problems.

Well.. Do not get me wrong.. Sometimes people can be too slow at getting things done. I would have to admit I am guilty of this.. Sometimes through all the problems that exist in my life things become so burdensome there are things that end up on my back burner. Then there is the problem of feeling horrible about putting something off so much..

Well.. To make things simple.. All I am trying to say is try and take it slow on things that do not necessary require expediting. However, don't carry this over on everything.. Some things require a bit of speed..

Creativity killed - Walking the dog

Everyday the worker turned outside his cubicle to peer out of the window for a look of the outside world. However.. something deep down told him this was unproductive and not beneficial for company time. He felt sadness because the view outside brought life into him but looking inward toward his cubicle brought depression. Looking outside the sun shined bright, birds flew around seeking out food and the greenery outside just felt like there was more to life than the confines of his cubicle. Still, deep down he knew peering outside was not a good thing and the company frowned upon taking unnecessary breaks which would prove problematic on the bottom line. He knew the business world was all about making money and viewing life outside was definitely not within the scope of business.

It seems the entire world holds to this view lately. Life is just plain depressing when you isolate your self and alienate yourself from the outside world. It becomes an existence that is all about living indoors and becoming robotic. I sometimes wonder if we are on a road to nowhere because I often think there probably is more to this world than meets the eye. We love seperating ourselves from this world and always try to find external ways to calculate things about this world and our universe. Hell, maybe the answer is staring us in the face maybe we should start thinking about "life" more and realize there is more to it than meets the eye.

Realize living in a cubicle for most of your life is not a good thing. Even if the company were compensating you fairly for doing so it still seems not enough to pay someone for losing part of their life. This world is a fascinating place and I think we all need to start by understanding it better.

(Continue later)